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30 November 2009


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Tally-Ho The Viscount!

Are they yours, M'Lord?

How does £400 sound my Lord?

Absolutely not, Mr Sheen. And if you had seen the state of Sharon, you would believe me. No, we suspect the kitchen boy - and I plan to subject him to a thorough physical examination tomorrow to acertain whether he would be capable of siring triplets. The yeomen stock in these parts are outrageously fertile, but I have my doubts that such a skinny little fellow could produce three babes in one boffing.

Gemini - £400 sounds like more than they are worth, old bean. Do not expect great scholarly deeds from this pair, but you can hope for twenty years of honest toil in the fields.

Dear Viscount Crouchback,

My name is Malcolm Bligh Turnbull. I'm a long time reader of your blog.

Today, I was deposed as leader of the Liberal Party of Australia. Tony Abbott is now the new leader of our great and glorious party.

By the way, I'm a staunch Republican - in fact I'm the former leader of the Australian Republican Movement - and I think that the Queen and her sprogs are a complete menace.

In contrast, Tony Abbott (the ghastly conservative catholic) is a staunch Constitutional Monarchist - in fact he's the former Executive Director of Australians for Constitutional Monarchy.

Now, what am I to do?

Should I ride off into the sunset, or, should I fight on, take down Tony, and then establish Australia as a republic?

Yours defeatedly,

M. B. Turnbull

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