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03 March 2010

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Adidas and Diadora?

Paddydas and Diaspora in this case. Don't you think?

That's jolly good, old bean!

"It's not usual to wear trainers, tracksuits trousers and sports jerseys in the function rooms, sir..."

That's very funny. Almost comforting.

What a sight it is here when another horde of angry, sun-burnt, Nike wearing Munster men arrive.

Give it a few hours. Throw in some kebab juice, a shopping trolly and an angry Samoan bouncer and you've got yourself another night in Bondi Junction.

Very funny CEO.

I recently visited bondi junction and you couldn’t be more right. Loud, uncouth, vulgar, nouve riche..they are an embarrassment to Ireland. I am a proud Irishman and even I wish they came with subtitles because i can barely understand their unrefined accent.

Im actually glad old twickers stood by its dress code..

My Lord,

Why have you still not responded to my comments on your piece "Must we continue to suffer for playing by the rules?". I was looking forward to you and I crossing swords however it seems that I have defeated you far too easily. I will gratefully accept this victory and hope that the next time I stir up an argument that you are somewhat more brave.

Please continue your excellent post’s

CEO - I shall endeavour to avoid Bondi Junction if I venture down to the colonies for the Ashes. Where in Sydney would you recommend for a chap of my breeding? I daresay one of your clubs down there has a reciprocal arrangement with my own club. (Note: I do not wish to encounter any republicans or overly strident women).

Andrew K - My dear fellow, I have an estate to run. It is simply not possible for me to indulge in idle chatter with every belligerent Irishman who crosses my virtual portcullis. I congratulate your chappies on their victory at HQ, and rest assured that I am greatly looking forward to seeing the supreme beefcake Ferris turn out for Great Britain in the 2016 Olympics.

Yours,
Crouchback

165 Macquarie Street would be the place, dear Viscount. It's barely a 15 minute taxi ride from the airport. Insist that the smiling Pakistani drives you straight up the Eastern Distributor. I.e don't allow the sneaky blighter to take you up Botany Rd as you'll have to pass through Redfern! (Redfern is the most ghastly "working class" suburb of South Sydney; enough to make any Liverpool housing estate seem desirable).

So (if all goes to plan) you'll only have to stomach 13 or 14 minutes of a distinctly non-deodorised Sydney taxi cab before hurtling free from the tunnel at Woolloomooloo and heading up the hill to be met by a rather large, and, somewhat gloriously out-dated, portrait of Her Majesty. (The Australian Club has an arrangement with Brooks's. You may have heard of them? Or Boodle's?)

Now just a quick word of caution: Dropping my name at that old place is not without risk these days. While I still have many friends there, since losing a car park "standoff" with James Packer I've yet to be seen this side of October '08.

Can you believe that? Packer's the would-be Scientologist! Scientologist! Yet I'm the one that gets banned for life!

(Howard is ok for the most part. But Steer clear of Peacock and John Hewson -- two bigger dipsticks you'll never meet.)

As for you, Andrew K, my friend, Adidas or no Adidas you will not be seeing Her Majesty. Subtitles or no subtitles, I'm afraid you'll have to be content with the Tea Gardens.

ceo.

My Lord
As one who keeps such a close eye on Irish affairs, I'm sure you will have followed the Myers/O'Gara spat in the aftermath of their thumping at the hands of the French with as much amusement as I did.
However one of Myers' more recent pieces http://www.independent.ie/opinion/columnists/kevin-myers/kevin-myers-what-the-english-have-as-they-showed-last-saturday-is-guts-but-it-is-often-witless-guts-2086183.html opted to provide a cross-section of English rugby which is not quite all that one would expect from a man vilified in his home country as an anglophile.
Yours etc.
AP Newson

CEO - Bravo, old bean! Bravo! I'm a White's man myself, but I'm sure The Australian Club will welcome a weary traveller from the Mother Country.

AP Newson - Good heavens, what a bizarre article! I have noticed that Irish journalists love to pontificate on the nature of Englishness. It is a most peculiar national pastime. The English, needless to say, feel no such impulse towards the Irish.

But it was worth reading just to learn about Tommy Bowe's grandfather. That is superb news. I was aware that Tommy was a Royal School Armagh chap, but I had no idea his lineage was so distinguished. No wonder the fellow opts to play in Britain rather than in the Republic.

I'll etch him down alongside Ferris on my GB dream team.

Yours,
Crouchback

CEO

No way Mate, I will stick with the rooftop in the Ivy. I was enjoying some rather excellent Aussie female company as recently as last Friday. Enjoy the Cock and Bull.

My Lord

Thank you for finally responding.

My Lord,

I'm not sure what to make of your supposition that the English rarely pontificate on the nature of the Irish. It seems to me that this is one of your chief occupations. That piece by Myers seemed rather to be like something you would write only in reverse. Needless to say your writing has more flair but I hope you see my point.

Yours eternally,

Quite so, old bean, but I in no way see myself as representative of the average Englishman in that respect. The English are much more interested in the French and Germans, I think. Analysis of our dear Celtic neighbours rarely strays beyond half-hearted stereotypes.

Indeed, I rather like to flatter myself that my Celt-dishing is thoroughly unEnglish in its rigour, consistency and sheer beastliness.

Yours, etc

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