Britannia rules the rugger waves (almost!)

What ho, rugger men!

I say, what superb British bulldog spirit was displayed by our rugger chaps on Saturday, what!  First, the nippy little Welsh gave the Eye-ties a good dusting; then the mighty Scotch gave the hedgerow skulkers a good thrashing on their own Fenian turf; and lastly, fifteen stiff upper lipped Englishmen (well, thirteen Englishmen and two under-performing colonials) gave the Frogs a jolly good lesson in phlegm and stoicism. 

What yellow bellied cowards the French are!  All that talent and flair and still they quiver at the sight of an Englishman.  We really ought to have put thirty points on the blighters and it was only an abject refereeing performance and our own lack of precision that stopped us doing just that.  I fail to see how the Frogs can take any pride in a Grand Slam won in such a timorous manner. 

And what of the Irish?  Beasted on their own patch by the Scotch!  How I chuckled to see Paul "Iron Hands" O'Connell shown up in such abject fashion by the superb Kellock.  Doubtless the Munstermen will attempt to blame Rory Best but I am quite certain that O'Connell's true level is now being established: he is a mediocre, under-powered, poorly skilled clodhopper who is now being found out on a weekly basis.  The only Irishmen to emerge with a scintilla of pride yesterday were the splendid Stephen Ferris and the thrusting young graduate of the Royal School Armagh (and grandson of a VC-winner), Tommy Bowe.  

Finally, I offer sincerest congratulations to the Ballymena Academy, to Clongowes Wood College, and to Presentation Brothers Cork, winners of the Ulster, Leinster and Munster Senior Schools Cups respectively.  Ballymena Academy is chock full of stoical young Empire loyalists, Clongowes has an admirable tradition of service to the Crown (including several VC-winners), and "Pres", though regrettably situated in the backwoods of Munster, churns out some fairly decent chaps by the standards of that frightful province.  Well done to all the young beef on display in the three finals. 

Yours, etc

Viscount Crouchback

Comments

[Gemini]

A rather entertaining day of Rugby to be sure. I didn't resent the Scottish one bit for beating us (Irish). They were the better side and to be honest, deserved something for their efforts in the tournament. I was far more disappointed to see the French beat a superior English side. I hate the French, they have ruined far too many an Irish championship in recent years and that smug little bastard Parra needs to be put on his stomach and beasted internally by Dylan Hartley and John Hayes.

I myself spent several years at the Christian Brothers College in Cork my Lord. A splendidly strict school in its day. I remember at least one of the brothers there used to still use the cane to brutalize 8 and 9 year old boys in the early 90s.

Well done for coming third in the tournament this year my Lord. But let’s hope that every team from these great isles humiliates and destroys those nefarious frogs next year, for no one deserved to win a Grandslam in so pitiful a manner.

Yours in earnest,

[Viscount Crouchback]

Jolly well said, old bean!