Let's beast those Tabs!

What ho, boaties!

So, it's that time of year when every pukka chap in the land becomes an overnight rowing expert.  Fellows who don't know their oar from their elbow take to waxing lyrical about Oxford's "impressive power ratio" and Cambridge's "smooth transition through the gears".  Chaps whose only experience of boats is the P&O ferry to Calais assure their chums that "the Cambridge stroke is a fantastic technician".  Oh yes, Putney on race day is a veritable bluffers' convention!

But the sight of eight strapping boaties clad only in lycra is a splendidly invigorating sight.  One can forgive a fellow for becoming a little over-excited.  For the uninitiated, the general rule of thumb is that the best rower sits at the front (stroke position) and sets the pace, the beefcakes sit in the middle and add the power, and then a few slightly smaller chaps sit at the back and keep rhythm with the pace set by those in front of them.  Oh, and a yappy little fellow called a cox does the shouting and exhorting and then gets beasted afterwards.

I rowed for The House in seat 5, which is one of the power positions.  Sadly, however, my rowing career was short-lived.  My debut in the Michaelmas Christ Church Regatta of 1953 turned out rather badly when our nincompoop of a cox (still drunk from the previous night's brandy) decided, on seeing us losing ground to Balliol, that it would be a cunning wheeze to steer straight into their boat like a Japanese kamikaze.  Some waterborne oar jousting ensued and the long and the short of it is that the lot of us were banned from rowing for the duration of our university careers.

Oxford are favourites for this weekend's race.  They have won the last two races and four of the last five.  The poor Tabs are beginning to wonder where their next win will come from.  Interestingly, an Irish chappie, Martin Walsh, has been included in the Oxford crew.  Not quite sure what the coach was thinking, but I'll know who to blame if we lose.  It's nice to see two House chaps in the Oxford crew. Twins, no less - and they invented Facebook apparently...

Oxford: Ben Myers (20, Exeter), bow; Martin Walsh (Ire, 24, Green Templeton); Tyler Winklevoss (US, 28, Christ Church); Cameron Winklevoss (US, 28, Christ Church); Sjoerd Hamburger* (Neth, 27, Oriel); Matt Evans (Can, 23, University); Simon Gawlik (Ger, 24, Kellogg); Charlie Burkitt (23, Wolfson), stroke; Adam Barhamand (US, 23, Wolfson), cox.

Cambridge: Rob Weitemeyer* (Can, 27, Hughes Hall), bow; Fred Gill (24, Hughes Hall); Code Sternal (US, 24, Hughes Hall); Peter McClelland (Can, 26, Pembroke); George Nash (20, St Catharine’s); Deaglan McEachern* (US, 26, Hughes Hall); Derek Rasmussen (US, 24, Hughes Hall); Henry Pelly* (26, St Edmund’s House), stroke; Ted Randolph (21, Peterhouse), cox.

Yours, etc

Viscount Crouchback

Comments

[darwinia]

Have to say again, my Lord, this is an excellent blog. So Lord Crouchback I did not entirely waste the family fortune by packing you off to Oxford.

[Mr Sheen]

Kellogg? Wolfson? Green Templeton? Are these crammers or seccy colleges?

[Viscount Crouchback]

Pretend colleges, old bean. For bible bashers and trainee teachers and various types of oddball. Mind you, they were never going to allow a rum fellow like Walsh into a proper college now, were they?

What the dickens, Darwinia? Are you now claiming to be my mother?

[Andrew]

What on earth is it with all these Yanks and lesser-Yanks in the crews? Surely there is enough rosy-cheeked English beef to choose from?

[Lawrence]

Because in todays financial climate, money talks louder than usual, Andrew.

[Darwinia]

Sorry, meant to refer to Lord Couchback the first, your father.

[Viscount Crouchback]

I suppose it's like a variant of the prisoners' dilemma, Andrew. Oxford assume the Tabs are going to pick a load of foreign beef and the Tabs assume the same of Oxford, so both do...

'Tis a shame, I agree. Look out for Ben Myers, a rare home-grown undergraduate.