Sherborne School

What ho, scholars!

I know that my schooling advice is highly valued by readers of this blog.  There are thousands of Englishmen who are currently unsure whether School X will turn their son into a thrusting young go-getter or a snivelling pansy.  As you know, I have had harsh words for the likes of Wellington College.  Far too many of our once proud public schools have gone soft or have become mere finishing schools for eurotrash.  Some of these institutions are now more likely to produce the next Graham Norton than the next Lord Kitchener.

How gratifying, therefore, to report several extremely positive reports about Sherborne School in Dorset. I know several chaps of a stout, hearty and patriotic disposition who are all thoroughly delighted with the robust schooling their sons are receiving.  I am told that:

• Sherborne is resolutely old school in its approach
• Rugger is high on the menu
• There are no fillies to effeminise the boys
• There is no tolerance for yellow behaviour of any kind 
• 96% of the boys come from British prep schools, so there are no odious Russian or Arab types to lead one's boy astray
• The school is situated in delightful countryside near a small market town full of buxom young shire girls 
• Alumni include Peter Oborne, Tom Bradby, Major General Patrick Cordingley, Stanley Johnson and Nigel Dempster - all corking chaps, I'm sure you'll agree 
• Best of all, Sherborne quietly turns a blind eye to regular beastings 

In other words, Sherborne ticks all the boxes I alluded to in my earlier post on this topic.  I think it's well worth considering if you have a son of red blooded disposition. 

Yours, etc

Viscount Crouchback

Comments

[lawrence]

"So there are no odious Russian or Arab types to lead one's boy astray."

My fags tell me that a 'replica' is being built in Qatar, and is expected to be completed by 2012, my Lord.

I think it's about time you started reminding the Foreign Office of their patriotic obligations to their soveriegn. If such a notion still exists.

[Viscount Crouchback]

I've no problem with that if the Arabs and Russians are sent to Qatar rather than Dorset. In fact, it sounds like a jolly good wheeze!

[Mr Sheen]

You glossed over Alan Turing - not quite what you had in mind - and worse, bed-wetting, whiny tree-hugger, Chris Martin.

[Lawrence]

A jolly good wheeze indeed, my Lord. But in the long run the joke may be on Sherborne - in the form of exchange programs. With mutual indulgence, might I add. And that, my Lord, is where the rot will surely set in.

[Jake]

My Lord, did you have the opportunity to watch an odd little programme called 'The Russians are Coming'?

All about a rather unpleasant lady who is making a career out of getting the children of her rich Russian clients in to public schools. She makes use of a strange bunch of people who run courses at their country homes in things like shooting, polo and how to make your bed. Supposedly these are the sort of things that help you to fit in at public school, although I found the ability to hide a poker set and a bottle of single malt in my bedroom a much more useful skill.

[Viscount Crouchback]

Yes, I did watch the programme you mention. The mother was quite boffable I thought, but her son was a hopeless dolt. The KGB type who was shown around Stowe made my skin crawl. And the oddball Brits facilitating these vile Russkis ought to be shot at dawn.

Super website of yours by the way, old bean. I'll have to send Lord Emsworth along to have a look at it.

['Bomber' Harris]

Far better to send them to King's Bruton just down the road.
Sherborne - Chris Martin! Need I say more...