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02 April 2010


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I wonder if they are cheating. Twins are often able to communicate psychically via telekinesis so it’s no stretch to say that perhaps they are also able to coordinate their thrusting limbs with more precision then normal people. Imagine the lucky ladies. Perfect mechanical rhythm and pinpoint accuracy in both holes.

I just hope the blighters are suitably grateful for the rare honour afforded to them. If Oxford lose tomorrow, then I shall quickly regret permitting non-rugger, non-British chaps to wallow in the glorious limelight of Beefcake Corner.

Tee hee. The Times's oft amusing Giles Smith offers this take on his "ones to watch":

Trey Slendermain (Oxford): Missouri-bred powerhouse, studying chemistry and world domination at Lucy Hazlitt Hall. Starts in the No 5 seat, but has been known to row so hard that he ends up at least three seats farther back.

Deloitte Hunkelhammer (Cambridge): Formidable but genial, this always-smiling “joker in the boat” from Des Moines once threw a bicycle over the roof of Peterhouse — much to the annoyance of the person who was on it.

Austin Hughes-Horne (Oxford): Don’t let the letters “L” and “R”, written in Biro on the back of his hands, fool you. The land economist from Newlyn can be relied upon to give it some serious humpty in the event of a ball-shrivelling headwind.

Pippi Shortstocking (Cambridge): The plucky English-reading cox is expected to report for duty at only three inches tall after Cambridge’s use of a pioneering but controversial shrinking process. The sport may move to outlaw it. In the meantime, enjoy seeing a mini-master at work.

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