Rory McIlroy

What ho, gentlemen!

    I say, chaps, I had imagined that this blog might have been rather quiet in my absence and yet I find that one particular post has attracted a constant stream of comments like jam attracts wasps.  Take a little gander at this.  Have you ever seen such lunacy in your lives?  Heavens above, I know the Micks aren't the most temperate of fellows, but who would have thought that such an insignificant little entry would still be attracting comments a full year later?

    Indeed, I wonder whether perhaps the Security Service ought to think about placing my blog under 24 hour surveillance.  I daresay that by tracing the IP addresses of these ghastly individuals, MI5 could wrap up the entire cell structure of RIRA within an afternoon and still have time for high tea at Hillsborough Castle.

    Now listen here, Fenians.  Let's have no more of this nonsense.  Young Rory deserves an MBE, not vile abuse on the Internet.  I hope you each take a good look in the mirror and feel jolly well ashamed of yourselves!  I'll have more to say on the Irish question in a forthcoming post; for now, you chappies just pipe down and focus on the spud planting.  We all know what happens when you take your eye off the ball.

Yours, etc

Viscount Crouchback

Comments

[Gemini]

My lord has finally returned!!

How joyous!!

Lord, I know it's early, but is it too much to ask that you won't abandon us during next years World Cup and Six Nations? I don't mean to put you under pressure but last year your commentary on the 6 nations came very late and I did miss the build-up. Us Irish are terrible masochists you know.

Yours humbly,

[Gemini]

Apologies my Lord, I had forgotten that I had already welcomed you back. Damn poteen. Terrible stuff.

Let me make this superfluous posting a little less usless then by asking if we can expect a return to business with regards the Beefcake of the Month Periodical.

Yours in servitude,

[Viscount Crouchback]

My dear boy, how you must have missed your regular portion of beefcake! Yes, I think a monthly award would be best - weekly pictures of Dylan Hartley would surely place far too great a strain on the shires’ stocks of Kleenex.

At my age, one hesitates to make promises about next year, old bean, but I shall certainly do my best!