Saxons!
Rouse yourselves, Englishmen. The resting season is over. Leave your womenfolk by the hearth, for it is time to joust once again. To our west sits a band of dark, belligerent trolls. They offer us lip from beyond the safety of Offa's dyke. Most rudely do they treat our pack leader, Sir Dylan. Most shameful are the beastly words they toss in their vile sing song voices.
In earnest, Saxons, the fair isle of Britannia has never known a more impudent band of savages than these brutish Welshmen!
A salutary lesson awaits these pygmies, and a lesson they shall receive. The men of Wales strut like giants but know not that the real giants prepare themselves in Wessex. The pants of poor Alun Wyn will turn brown indeed when the shadow of Simon Shaw looms above his head. Poor James will empty his bowels when Big Ted grabs him by the throat at the first scrummage.
These poor Welshmen, they talk so well but fight so weakly. Such strut, such pomp, such boasting - and such measly returns! Remember, Saxons, their singing voices are so marvellous because their balls are so small.
There is but one boss in these isles. But one boss, I say. And the boss goes by the name of JOHN BULL. Yes, John Bull, I say. And when John Bull spots a cheeky Welshman, he does not humour him or parley with him or invite him for tea.
No, my fellow Saxons, when John Bull spots a Welshman, there is but one thing on his mind - and that is to mete out a good and proper beasting to the errant little scamp. To beast Dai so brutally and so savagely that the scummy little Taff quietens down for the next ten years at least.
There will be fifteen Dais in Cardiff on Friday. Fifteen Dais in need of a damned good spanking. Fifteen Dais almost begging for we gallant Englishmen to show them the error of their ways.
And men of Saxony, I trust that we shall not be found wanting.
God Save The Queen!
Yours, etc
Viscount Crouchback
Any room in your militia for a Knight in tarnished armour, my lord?
Posted by: Lawrence | 30 January 2011 at 05:14 PM
Are you looking forward to the tournament my Lord?
Posted by: Gemini | 01 February 2011 at 01:26 PM
Nope my Lord. Remember Argicourt. England's greatest victory was thanks to the Welsh Archers. You need to reconsider.
Posted by: darwinia | 04 February 2011 at 05:18 PM